Yep, my characters have self-esteem problems. Problems with teachers. Problems with kids at school. Problems with their own self image. Just all kinds of problems.
And that's great--to read about in fictional stories. Ever know someone who seems to be perfect? Perfect at school, perfect with friends, perfect with family, perfect with sports, and even has the ultimately perfect boyfriend? Blah! Perfect is boring.
But in real life, wouldn't we all like to have perfect lives? Norman Vincent Peale says this in his book, Positive Thinking Every Day--"It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfation out of the relationship."
And he's right. We spend more time with ourselves than we do with anyone else! So not only should you like yourself, love yourself. Loving anyone else is hard to do if you don't love yourself first.
So how do you learn to love yourself? Do what you can do to improve your self-esteem, even if you already know you're perfect! :)
This brings back a saying my dad used to espouse--"I'm perfect. I don't make mistakes." Of course he said it tongue in cheek, and we loved to prove how wrong he was. And he grinned all the more.
But this is one way to make you feel better about yourself. Tell yourself you're perfect. Don't tell yourself how many horrible faults you have.
Another way to help with self-esteem issues is to tackle them.
Ever hear about the famous Greek philosopher, Demosthenes, who stuttered horribly? He put small pebbles in his mouth to help him control his stuttering while he spoke loudly to anyone who wished to hear his philosophies. He eventually overcame his stuttering.
Have trouble with math? Don't feel like a failure. Get help. Work with a teacher, with students who are really good in math, with a parent who might be. Get after school tutoring at a library. Get online help from math tutors. Giving up on it, isn't a solution. And it hurts self-esteem.
For years, my son balked at doing math. But then he decided he wanted to be a computer programmer. Guess what? It requires a lot of advance level math. So he finally bit the bullet and began working with tutors and teachers to learn how to do it.
Ignoring problems won't make it go away. So tackle them, but ask for help. Two heads are better than one.
My daughter was having trouble with chemistry. And her boyfriend just happened to have taken it and was able to help her with some problems. So, ask friends. You never know when someone you know might even know how to help.
Sometimes I've heard people being upset over the lamest things. Not that I would ever do such a thing. But sometimes we have to realize in the scheme of things, how important is it?
So sometimes, just realizing that whatever seems to be a big thing isn't, helps to put the self-esteem issue into perspective.
Another way to deal with issues is to look at where you'll be a week from now. Let's say that you have a big test coming up. And you're stressing over it. Number one, tell yourself that you can do it. Number two, study hard for it. Remember, tackling the problem can do wonders. Number three, remember that it's not the end of the world if you fail. You may have to retake it, take a summer course, but despite how you might feel about it, it won't kill you. And Number four, remember there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You will get through this!
Just like my characters in their stories. They have so many things to deal with, but eventually, if they work hard enough and have the right attitudes, they will overcome. :)
And a reminder! And speaking of fun stuff, be sure to check out this fun YA Web Tour by seven of our Climbing Rose authors (Linda Kage, Kitty Keswick, Laurie Larsen, Deb Logan, Kimberlee R. Mendoza, June Sproat, & Terry Lee Wilde). The tour runs from March 2 - 8 and couldn't be easier. All you need to do is log on to the website of the day, enter the secret code, and possibly win a free book. Fun!
Monday's website is Kimberlee R. Mendoza and the secret code is Family.
Have a super Sunday, and tell me what you do to deal with self esteem issues that works! :)
Terry Lee Wilde
Thank you for all the support you've given the Climbing Rose Young Adult line of The Wild Rose Press. Our stories are still available on The Wild Rose Press website, however, since we aren't publishing new stories, our blog is no longer active. We thank you again for the time you spent with us and invite you to visit our Climbing Rose bookstore.